Question Mark?

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do. I think Yan will always be the hurting little boy that he used to be. Even though he tries to have grown out of it, it shows when he puts himself down and feels undeserving. 

I don’t know if I can even help him see that he doesn’t have to be that little boy so much. 
At the same time, can I change for him and be the person he wants me to be? Isn’t that partially why it didn’t work out with Grant? Because I didn’t want to become resentful of how much I would change? 
I know the change is for the better and it will be good for me but the ‘lifestyle’ I lead and want to lead is the one I’ve always wanted. The one I could share with friends and with myself. Can I give that up for one overbearing, controlling, stubborn, straight-edge guy who promises whole-heartedly that he will give me the world? 
Or am I just giving away a possible good chunk of my life to another failed relationship. 

muggleland:

i love the sense of community in the classroom when you all know you failed the test

(via orgasm)

Lesson Learning in Progress

I know that for Grant, he started to pull away because he said that I never saw things from his perspective; that I was selfish and didn’t think of how my decisions would hurt him. He said that I didn’t respect why he didn’t want me to do whatever things I did. 

I guess that’s just how I’ve always been. I never take much of other people’s feelings into consideration. But of course in my head, it’s for a good reason- I’m doing the things I do because it’s for a good reason.

I just can’t fathom being completely submitted to someone because I see finally see their perspective and I see that the choices I make don’t have the best consequences. 

He said just don’t do what you did to me to him. I’m trying not to put him through all the things I’ve put you through but it feels like the hardest obstacle I’ve had to conquer.

And this relationship, is what hangs in the balance of my decision.